I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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