this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Dicks are not precious.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
