It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
