k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Randomize
