They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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