"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
