buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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