my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
