He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Life is so much better after having sex.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
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