definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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