I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
