Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
