Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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