Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
