i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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