i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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