I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize