it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
