just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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