Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize