shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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