she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
