Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize