She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
