So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
