You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
