just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
