my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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