so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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