Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
