Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
