Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
