I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize