That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize
