I hate your face
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
