I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
