remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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