It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
40s are totally the cure
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
