I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
