I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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