hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
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