i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I think people are normalizing furries
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
