watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
