If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
