He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
