well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
