even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
