there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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