whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
