you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
