I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
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