CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Randomize