For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I came so hard my ears popped.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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