I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
