i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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