white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
My ATM looks so different sober.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
