I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize