Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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