i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Randomize
