The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize