but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
