erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Drunk walkin through police station. America
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
