my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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