and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
