Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Randomize
