I think i peed on brittanys purse
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
