the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Randomize
