Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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