I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
